torpor

rasanya gelap. 
perutku melilit.
membayangkan ini-itu.
rasanya hanya aku sendiri yang ngerasa 'bahagia'.
rasanya aku pengen muntah.
aku tau ini hal sepele.
tapi gimana bisa aku nganggep ini sepele?
dia pasti keinget terus.
first, i just wondering.
what was that code?
i have a feeling, that code must be have a relation.
to her.
i dont wanna knowing the truth.
but my natural side says no.
i shall know.
then i just look out.
ha ha.
i found it.
my nightmare.
that i couldn't escape from.
decode.
i felt so dumb.
dumb.
how can i so stupid.
feeling this alone.
i don't wanna think of it.
but how come?
my nightmare already came.
i don't wanna give up that easy.
its my fault.
i've decode what i should don't know.
its hurt.
feels so poignant.
God, please save me.
this is a nightmare, isn't it?
please wake me up.
thats just a paltry thing.
i will wake up.
and forgot everything.
yes, i will.

may that just my mind.

hope for my life to be cherished.