withered heart
there were several moments when I felt that I'm broken into pieces. first, the moment when my dad passed away. second, the moment when I broke up with my ex. and the third, yesterday. lately I felt very worn out, confused, fatigue, sad, depressed, and all of the bad feelings you could mention--mixed into one. I chose to lock myself up in my room rather than tried to open up and told everyone that I am not okay. I just broke up with my ex not so long ago, plus my cancer getting worse so I should change the chemotherapy to the higher level. it is really torturing me. it even so hard for me to wake up without feeling stressed. after days passed, then one day I cut melons for my family. I saw the seeds and suddenly wanted to plant it. so I just planted it, together with my lychee seeds. they grow really well, and I felt very happy for them. this is the first time (after I'm broken down) that I really wanted to do something. with taking care of my plants, I'm unconscious