rooché fooche

"kita itu menunggu untuk ditemukan, padahal ditemukan itu susah" - Pak Wardono

Well , tugas TKI kali ini sungguh membuat inner soul -ku bangkit setelah terkubur bertahun-tahun. SEJUJURNYA AKU SUDAH TAU BAND INI (Re:Seringai) DARI SMP (HAHAHAHAHAH) karena aku juga terjerumus masuk ke penikmat band-band cadas (semua ini gara-gara kakakku, hiks). Burgerkill, Gugat, Siksakubur, Seringai...yah gak asing lagi sih namanya bagiku. Tapi sebenernya aku ga terlalu fond of band heavy metal dari Indonesia. Sebatas "pernah denger" aja sih. Aku lebih ke penikmat lagu-lagu cadas dari band luar, kaya: Metallica, System of A Down, Slipknot, Guns & Roses, Avenged Sevenfold, Dream Theather, AC/DC, Scorpions, dan Deep Purple. Duh kan jadi membuka kenangan masa-masa emo yang telah lalu. Nah berhubung eksistensiku sebagai perempuan mulai dipertanyakan (dulu sebelum memutuskan berhijab, aku pernah punya rambut pendek banget dah kaya cowok lah sampe pernah dipanggil mas *sedih*), aku mulai meninggalkan lagu-lagu cadas menjadi lagu-lagu pop akustik barat (jauh bene...

Kalo orang-orang nanya, kenapa sih aku bisa langgeng pacaran bertahun-tahun sampe uzur? Jawabannya simpel, karena komunikasi yang baik , lancar , dan cukup . Terus kenapa kok dua orang yang saling mencintai tiba-tiba hubungannya jadi rusak, suami-istri cerai, negara damai tiba-tiba perang, atau nonton bola tiba-tiba rusuh? Jawabannya simpel juga, bisa jadi karena faktor komunikasi yang buruk , yang rusak , yang kurang , atau yang terprovokasi . Jadi, apasih komunikasi itu? Secara etimologis (ecieee), komunikasi itu asal katanya dari "communicare" (bahasa Latin) yang berarti "to share" .    Iya, share . As simple as sharing feeling towards each other. Berbagi apa yang kita rasakan kepada orang lain, perspektif kita, pemikiran kita. Menyampaikan, mengutarakan, bahasa mudahnya, "ngomong". Gitu. Nah, challenge- nya di sini nih. Ga semua orang itu seperasaan, seperspektif, sepemikiran sama kita. Manusia itu beda tubuh udah beda otak...

Tidaaaaaak, akhirnya menginjakkan kaki ke semester penghujung kuliah. Semester tujuh. Kurang satu semester lagi. Sudah dipanggil "swasta":mahasiswa tingkat akhir, siap atau ga siap. Holy crap. Dan tadi, pukul tiga sore aku duduk di kelas yang ramenya udah kayak pasar baru. Kelas yang kuambil karena wajib (jujur loh hahaha) dan karena kata temen-temen kelasnya asik gitu. Kelas TKI namanya. Bukan Tenaga Kerja Indonesia loh, tapi Teknik Komunikasi Ilmiah. Yang ngajar Pak Wardono, dan baru pertama kali ini aku lihat beliau. Selama ini sering banget denger nama Pak Wardono (soalnya dulu pas TPB pernah jadi dosen wali temen-temenku kalo gasalah), tapi gatau orangnya yang mana hahahah (parah bangeeet, maafkan saya Pak). Oiya kelas TKI ini tugas-tugasnya suka aneh-aneh tapi fun. Aneh-anehnya gimana dah? Misal nih, dulu pernah aku diwawancarain sama temen-temen tentang definisi cinta buat tugas TKI, gara-gara mereka tau aku pacaran udah sampe uzur gitu ...

Pohang; Korea Selatan 25 Juli 2017 02.01 pagi Sampai detik ini aku masih hidup, Syukurlah. Ada banyak hal yang terjadi: Hingga sampai di hari ke 25 bulan Juli, hari yang nggak sepanas biasanya, cukup berawan, bahkan berkabut malamnya saat aku jalan pulang. Tuhan benar benar mendengar apa yang diucapkan oleh hambanya. Bahkan Tuhan dapat membaca pikiran kita; yah tentu saja, kita kan ciptaanNya. Semakin hari semakin terasa begitu. Aku yang seperti lagu doraemon ini; ingin ini ingin itu banyak sekali, Rasanya Tuhan mendengar dan mengabulkan semuanya. Ya, Semuanya. Walaupun tidak di waktu yang kuinginkan, Tapi, Tetap saja terkabul. Entah besok, Besoknya, Besoknya, Besoknya besok, Atau kapan saja. Boleh. Tuhan pasti dengar kok. Jangan khawatir. Aku sudah pengalaman. --lacuptea

Minggu terakhir ada di sini, Kedua kalinya mimisan. Padahal tadi sempat ngobrol bersama kawan: perihal makna "See you on top!" Ada dua. Pertama, terkandung doa Kedua, terkandung gelisah. Kenapa gelisah? tanyanya Karena kita tidak pernah tahu, Apa yang akan terjadi di masa depan, Bahkan 1 menit kemudian, Atau satu detik kemudian. Bisa jadi, Tiba-tiba meteor jatuh di sini, Siapa tahu? --- Lalu kemudian, sekarang tinggal aku seorang diri di kamar, pukul 1.53 pagi, di kota yang bahkan aku nggak tau dulu ada atau nggak di peta, sedang duduk dengan hidung tersumpal tisu yang mulai memerah merata karena darah Bisa bisanya masih menulis post blog ini (lewat telepon genggam) --- Sekarang aku gelisah.

yang sering kita lupa adalah memperbesar rasa syukur yang akan melapangkan dada kita sering kali kita lupa

one day, i was sitting on my bed, after having a surgery (and still recovering though) i wonder, why should i encounter with so much pain in my life. then my mum came to my room and sitting in the edge of my bed. we just looked each other, deep thoughts, no one started to talk. then i laughed so hard, my mum started to laugh too. i laughed until my visions blurred, i cried. cried so hard. i laughed, and cried, at the same time. i couldnt manage myself to laugh or to cry. and my mum started to pat my head. ... "because God loves you, so He makes you suffer through all this pain, so you know how to be stronger from time to time" i love you, mum really, please dont be sick, please always be happy, happy birthday to you  -lacuptea

this is the worst ramadhan in my entire existence. the worst of all, i couldnt agree more. though i still cant compare mine to the people who suffer more ((like syrian refugees)), but still, for me, this is my worst ramadhan month, ever. i am not trying to blame the holy month, it was sacred, as always it is. but not for myself. at some point i turned and started hating myself. i couldnt stop but, well, here i am. i am not hating my physical appearance, i love my body, my looks, but what i hate the most is my cruel mind, my unforgiving thoughts, my denial, my laziness, and all of my bad habits that i keep during this month. wasting every seconds until i realized that i couldnt take it back. idk what i blabbered about just now, i just feel an empty void in this month. like i lost myself, for real. and suddenly today is eid day. i couldnt rewind the time, and i feel so empty inside. -lacuptea

Years passed. I've learned a lot of things during that time. People do come and go. First, I ever knew what it feels to lose someone you love. How people can easily come and slip away. How love turned to hatred. And how I barely recognize that I hurt other people's feeling. Till now, I've done much bad things that other people seems never imagined. At some point, I really scared to let people come closer to me, and found that they'll get hurt because of me. I wanna say sorry to them. I shouldn't let them in on the first place, if I found that they'll end up in so much pain in the end. Maybe for my own (and other people) sake in the future, I wont let people get closer to me. I don't wanna trapped in this circle of guilt. I don't wanna start something that I couldn't finish. It was really painful when you see yourself hurt other people feelings. Feeling is a gift from God. It is holy and sacred, and no one deserve to break it. Maybe God created us in...

“Edward thought about everything that had happened to him in his short life. What kind of adventures would you have if you were in the world for a century? The old doll said, “I wonder who will come for me this time. Someone will come. Someone always comes. Who will it be?” “I don’t care if anyone comes for me,” said Edward. “But that’s dreadful,” said the old doll. “There’s no point in going on if you feel that way. No point at all. You must be filled with expectancy. You must be awash in hope. You must wonder who will love you, whom you will love next.” “I am done with being loved,” Edward told her. “I’m done with loving. It’s too painful.” “Pish,” said the old doll. “Where is your courage?” “Somewhere else, I guess,” said Edward. “You disappoint me,” she said. “You disappoint me greatly. If you have no intention of loving or being loved, then the whole journey is pointless. You might as well leap from this shelf right now and let yourself shatter into a million piec...

After I cried like a river...my heart starts relieving. I do have a lot of tears stock, and this problem somehow makes me feel more depressed than any other problems I have. My head starts aching, but there's no time for take some rest. I don't know what I supposed to do, but I still try my best out of it. I hope I will recover soon from my worries and sad thoughts, and wish that everything will turn out to be okay.  I h o p e so. God please grant my wish.

So here I am, laying down on my bed. Tears falling. Blurry eyes . Quietly crying till I fall asleep. Why everything suddenly happened? Without a sign, nor a warning. And I'm here. In the middle of nowhere, found myself.. ..have to let ( her ) go. Here, I'll write a lyrics for you--who struggles a lot--to erase him/her from your mind. A beautifully-written intro lyrics from Yuna,  Unrequited Love . "Sometimes you find yourself trying to let go of something But it's like...you have been swimming in the ocean for a very very long time And you feel like... you belong there You're one with the waves The warmth of the water And your body moves in sync with the ocean And you swim around... just trying to stay afloat Then you get tired and you start to drown And you swim back to land When you get there You just feel so heavy Because you lost touch with gravity for so long And you collapse on the beach As you try to fi...

to you, my dearest friend yang kulukai hatinya yang kujaga jarak dengannya karena ego karena keputusasaan karena segala beban yang datang bersamaan to you, orang yang kuyakin akan menangis dalam diam atau membaca tulisan ini tanpa perasaan tapi kuketik ini dengan perasaan yang mungkin terluka yang mungkin sudah tak mampu lagi kutahan to you, seseorang yang menuliskan ini: to: loli princess of fairytopia oioi~~~~    sumpah bingung aku ngasih kado awal padahal biasane telat 3-12 bulan (wkwkwk). Yaweslah ini aku beliin yg km pengen, tapi ga persis. Abisnya ga ada. Gpp kan ya hehe. Kuasnya semoga km blm punya. Kalo dah punya kasih ke aku aja /plak.    Btw gimana kabarmu? kadang rasanya aku tau dan nggak tau(?)  Maapin ya aku jadi temen gaje dan pelupa dan tidak terlalu solutif (?) dan penuh drama.  Hehehe. makasih dah mau jadi tempat sampah.     Eh tapi kamu apa kabar? Well, semoga semuanya menjadi l...

i love watching people falling in love although some people said that being in love mean that u're dumb and pathetic, but they're wrong in some ways, two person, falling in love each other, means that they have the whole world revolving around them no matter how cruel the world is they'd still madly in love with each other same as watching cute scenes in dramas that i've watched so cute, so pure, and so tender that there's no space for other feeling to fill up ur heart i'll silently start giggling for no reason, but for feel happy inside i hope i have that kind of "in love" heart which makes my day burst into laugh, hope, joy, awkwardness, happy tears, and that oh-so-called electric wave on my body, that i'm longing for and also, there's only one problem that really matter for a lovey dovey heart is will i see him/her today? have a nice day, Lacuptea