"mom, why should i suffer from time to time? i mean, why cant i feel good? why when i feel good, but then theres something bad happened to me? what is my fault?"

one day,
i was sitting on my bed, after having a surgery (and still recovering though)
i wonder,
why should i encounter with so much pain in my life.
then my mum came to my room and sitting in the edge of my bed.
we just looked each other,
deep thoughts,
no one started to talk.
then i laughed so hard,
my mum started to laugh too.
i laughed until my visions blurred,
i cried.
cried so hard.
i laughed, and cried, at the same time.
i couldnt manage myself to laugh or to cry.
and my mum started to pat my head.
...
"because God loves you,
so He makes you suffer through all this pain,
so you know how to be stronger from time to time"



i love you, mum
really,
please dont be sick,
please always be happy,
happy birthday to you
 -lacuptea